Moon Mondays: There’s a Difference Between Being Selfish and Having a Self
The Taurus full moon, Venus’ rebirth, and a little feminine rebellion this Halloween
What’s up with the women’s disempowerment movement? I see women clamoring to serve at the pleasure of the president who openly belittles women, going to extraordinary lengths to alter their appearance, and actively campaigning against the very rights women fought so hard to secure. It’s like a disease, eating away at not only everything we’ve gained, but the possibilities of what we could become. Frankly, it’s depressing.
I keep thinking at some point the continuous rapes, assaults, and sheer grossness of the manosphere is finally going to unite and embolden us to steer the “archy” toward matriarchy again. Enough is enough. You’d think being a woman would make the “ick” factor obvious — but apparently not. Thousands of years of patriarchy have done quite a number on us ladies (and believe it or not, some of you men, too).
As women, we’ve been browbeaten to be the babymakers, the caregivers, the peacekeepers and the hotties. Make sure everyone else is happy, comfortable, fed, loved, serviced and taken care of. If there’s a smidgen of time left over, perhaps we can squeeze ourselves in, but likely not.
I’d like to think many of us don’t even realize we’re internalizing sexism. We’ve been so thoroughly programmed to put everyone else’s needs ahead of our own that we misinterpret self-sacrifice for love. We mistake being accommodating for being kind and keeping the peace for being a good woman. Heaven forbid we want something for ourselves. How selfish!
Which oddly brings me to last night’s Taurus full moon opposite the Scorpio sun. Taurus and Scorpio are signs I was taught to call “serving-self.” Both are concerned with developing a strong sense of personal autonomy — not exactly the qualities we celebrate in women.
Taurus focuses on the earthly pleasures of being alive: our bodies, our senses, what feels good and what brings us joy. Taurus doesn’t need to justify enjoying a delectable meal, a gorgeous sunset, or an afternoon doing absolutely nothing productive. Pleasure is reason enough. Scorpio takes us into the murky waters of our unconscious, where all those old patriarchal beliefs and patterns are lurking — the places where we feel guilty when we say no.
Why is it so much easier to take care of others than ourselves? Who decided our needs mattered less in the first place?
There’s a world of difference between being selfish and having a self.
This full moon had some added juice: Chiron, the wounded healer, was snuggled up beside the moon, while Venus cozied up with the sun. Chiron illuminates our wounds around worthiness and our right to have needs, while Venus begins a new cycle, emerging from her underworld journey into the morning sky. A death and rebirth of the feminine, no less. Quite the celestial lineup for examining how we’ve learned to make ourselves smaller — and what it might take to reclaim our power.
I’m continually amazed at how deeply my own conditioning runs. I can understand a pattern, recognize exactly where it came from, and still find myself doing the same damn thing for the billionth time. Awareness is wonderful, but actually changing our behavior? That’s where the rubber meets the road.
As if the cosmos were coordinating the whole affair (wink, wink), along comes Halloween and Samhain (pronounced Sa-wen) this Saturday. This ancient Celtic festival marks the beginning of the dark half of the year, inviting us to turn inward, honor our ancestors, and release what no longer serves us. It makes me think about what we inherit from generations of women who learned to survive by being agreeable, keeping quiet, and putting themselves dead last. It’s time we break free from those old beliefs.
With Venus beginning her new cycle in Libra and Scorpio, Chiron illuminating our wounds and Samhain inviting us to let old beliefs die, the timing seems pretty dang appropriate for a little feminine rebellion.
I’m talking about the everyday rebellion of asking ourselves what we actually want. Saying no without a lengthy explanation. Letting someone else be disappointed. Enjoying something simply because it feels good, without having to earn it. Even putting ourselves at the top of the list for a change. Caring for ourselves doesn’t mean we stop caring about others. It means we finally include ourselves in the equation.
I recently saw a clip of Barack Obama suggesting that if women led every country — for just two years, the world would be a very different place. Imagine what could happen if we started reclaiming that power in our own lives. Amen!
Sheridan🌙
Moon Sisters Circle, Astrologer, and Astrology for Real Life Coaching
P.S. ✨ A New Venus Cycle Begins!
Speaking of feminine rebellion and reclaiming our power, Venus is beginning a whole new cycle! Join Cayelin Castell and me for a FREE live Venus Alchemy class on Friday, November 6, at 12 pm Pacific / 3 pm Eastern. We’ll explore the new Libra–Scorpio Venus cycle and its invitations around love, relationships, intimacy, and transformation.
REGISTER FOR THE FREE VENUS CLASS: https://venus-alchemy.myflodesk.com/v6ejddps9h