Moon Mondays: What’s Really Keeping You Stuck?
Today’s Scorpio new moon, and Venus and Mercury both end their retrograde cycles
What if you’re getting exactly what you want? Not what you say you want, but what some hidden part of you is determined to sabotage — constantly making you miserable.
Last week, we explored how the moon reveals the unconscious beliefs running our lives. This week, the Scorpio new moon takes us into the behaviors and buried agreements that keep those limiting beliefs alive and well. Scorpio relishes going where the rest of us would rather not venture. Often the scariest room in our house is our own unconscious.
The new moon is the launch of our monthly lunar cycle. We plant the seeds of our longings in the fertile lunar soil, hoping they’ll take root and grow into exactly what we desire. What happens when we’re the ones preventing those seeds from sprouting?
Enter Venus and Mercury, who both stop retrograding on Friday — Venus’s day, and the 13th, no less — a day associated with feminine power. Mercury reveals the thoughts that keep us stuck, while Venus illuminates the ways we sabotage the very things we say we want.
In my house, we have a saying, coined in childhood by my stepson Oliver, “I wish I wanted that.” That’s exactly it! I wish I wanted what I say I want, because instead I keep making choices that undermine exactly that.
Let’s say I want to write a book, but underneath that desire lurks an unconscious belief that I’m not good enough. Every time I sit down to write, that belief gets triggered. So, I make excuses, like I’m not inspired enough to write today. Then comes: there are so many better writers than me — who do I think I am to write a book anyway? Before long, the book never gets written, and my unconscious belief remains safely intact. See how that works? I’m consciously committed to writing a book but unconsciously committed to my ingrained belief that I’m not good enough.
Believe me, I’m not making up that example. I’m writing a book right now, and I’ve had to confront many of those exact thoughts. Thankfully, the book is coming along nicely, but it took consistently practicing what I preach to get it this far.
Recently I’ve uncovered another unconscious belief that’s been driving a particularly exhausting pattern in my life: I have to be productive to be worthy.
Phew. That one’s been a doozy. If I believe my worth depends on what I accomplish, I’m going to push myself harder, constantly trying to prove I’m good enough. Except no amount of productivity ever quite does the trick. There’s always more to do, another project to finish, another reason I haven’t earned the right to stop. Eventually, I crash and burn. Sometimes I’m so depleted I can barely get out of bed. Then what happens? I judge myself for not being productive! There I am, justifying that I’m not worthy all over again.
It’s like some sort of haunted hamster wheel I can’t escape. I’m exhausted just writing about it.
What’s fascinating to me is recognizing how both sides of this cycle reinforce the same belief. I’m overworking, trying to prove my worth. I’m exhausted, judging myself as worthless. Either way, I’m just flat-out unworthy.
That’s what I mean by hidden agreements. We think we’re committed to achieving what we think we want, but our behaviors are committed to maintaining the limiting beliefs that keep us stuck. That’s why willpower and discipline aren’t the real issues. Our excuses sound perfectly reasonable, even while they’re sabotaging exactly what we say we want because they’re the scaffolding supporting our darkest beliefs about ourselves.
Today’s Scorpio new moon invites us to explore what’s underneath those excuses rather than simply judging ourselves for making them. What are we afraid might happen if we get what we want? What old beliefs are we protecting? As Mercury and Venus station direct on Friday, there’s an added opportunity to look under the hood and address the self-sabotaging urges.
That’s the seed I’d like to plant with this Scorpio new moon: What if we stopped trying so hard to prove our worth and started questioning the belief that we have to prove it in the first place? Maybe then our desires could finally sprout, take root, and grow.
Sheridan🌙
Moon Sisters Circle, Astrologer, and Astrology for Real Life Coaching